Let’s have Bubble Tea
A few forgotten details tends to do great damage. As does a broken phone.
Let’s meet at Bubble Tea and just hang out.
It was May.
There was a storm. A Change of plans.
Tomorrow, or the next.
I was waiting for you that day. The whole day I wandered.
You didn’t come. I couldn’t reach you. A rare approval to go out wasted.
It was late when you saw my message. A profuse apology.
He cancelled that same week. Let’s use that time then , I missed you.
I couldn’t go out freely without a job, you know that. I blogged about it.
June, July, August. I focused.
You weren’t active online too. I remember you telling me you don’t go out much too to save money. (Unless of course to go job hunting)
I remember that rare talk on the phone. It was pure luck.
Your broken phone was connected to your plugged charger. It closes randomly.
We talked in another line.
Both of us were bitching about the torture of unemployment. How hard it was to see people updating their work status.
Her dad died.
I was happy at the rare chance to see you people despite the atmosphere.
August.
A relative died. A classmate invited us for a drink. I couldn’t go.
A misunderstanding. I got emotional. I couldn’t bear the thought that you were getting used to me not being there.
I told you about my concerns about you guys having plans without me.
I know dad wouldn’t have allowed me. But the thought would have been nice.
I didn’t have a job yet. I wasn’t allowed. I couldn’t hold that against anyone.
A few days, or weeks later, I texted. I was sorry. No reply. Maybe you’re still angry.
September. My first job.
Random people from college gathered for cake. I was so happy he was there, I missed him too. I heard news about you from him. You got a job. For position you’ve set your mind to taking.
You wrote a blog about it I heard. I couldn’t find it.
I texted a congratulations, hoping. Still, no reply. You might still be mad.
I’ll wait.
October.
I was so happy though when I was invited for a birthday dinner. But I was doing overtime, I couldn’t go even if I badly wanted to. I heard you weren’t there either.
I saw the out-of-town pictures. And the random dinners.
It was heart-breaking.
November.
I was shocked when you greeted me a happy birthday. I was so happy, but at the same time I was already having problems with him. I got distracted.
I’m so sorry I didn’t text you a long message of how are you’s instead of a lame single thank you.
December.
He left me.
I remember you texting, so I called. I figured your phone’s fixed now, and your not angry with me.
I just recently got postpaid.
Your happy greeting when you answered got me crying.
I wanted to say sorry for a lot of things, and tell you everything aside from things about him, and voice out my concerns that I badly miss hanging out with you guys and tell you that I was just waiting for an invite, and that it was stupid of me that I was a coward too for not trying to initiate because I thought there were still hard feelings.
It was a wrong move. It was bad timing. I was presumed as something I hated the most. I realize that now.
Distance and the lack of communication is a deadly thing.
I admit I have faults, but I don’t think every fault is mine.
I tried, maybe not hard enough, but I did.
Please don’t think of me like that.It hurts much worse than a heartbreak.
I left you a message.
I’ll wait until you’re ready.
